~ What i feel about myself, my friends, my family, my heart n the whole wide world ~

i dont really know what to write actually but il try dis out.. well 1st of.. im gonna talk bout myself

-MYSELF-

this is wat i think bout myself..most of my friends think im funny friendly cute(wtf perasan gila! j/k haha) well basicly i think im not being friendly but i actually like to listen to understand ppl how they feel deep inside them, i like to discover how they feel n how they think.. well i think im quite a psycho person.. i try by making them laugh.. make them happy.. make them miserable make them go crazy n even make them get mad n angry.. yes dats me.. i love doing wat i do..

i love being a bad boy.. seriosly.. love it..i make my name by having lots of friends n being bad n sometime stupid n crazy.. but actually deep inside of me im actually a innocent boy just being influence by his friends..im very straight foward n i love it.. makes me understand the person faster..especially when i get to know new ppl.. i think im smart n creative.. very actually(perasan la nie hehe).. but the only slack thing is i have dis huge problem.. im a FORGETFULL person dats 4 sure.. here i would like to say sorry to u guys dat i probably wont even mention ur name when i meet wit u guys coz i cant remember (sorry la beb gua lupa lu pnya nama gua manyak soli ah...jan marah~ bukan sengaja beb)

if u ever taught that u probably ever make me angry make me mad of u.. just say sorry... insyallah ill forgive.. even how big ur mistake insyallah ill forgive u.. i dont mind coz i know i make mistakes too and im sorry for it too.. i love eating.. i love cooking too.. bes!!! love chocolate.. i always buys dis 'MARS' adicted to it.. lol :) i sumtimes may be a lil 'gedik2'@'pondan'... well i actually do this to make jokes and also usually i do this to not show the real me.. coz im afraid u will be afraid of me n wouldn't dare to be friends wt me.. i warn u guys sumthing dat u really wanna make precaution with.. DO NOT MAKE ME ANGRY!! if im angry i go crazy, n when im crazy i dont think properly,and when im crazy you wouldn't wanna know.. PLEASE I BEG U!! dont ever try.. u dont even wanna see wat i can do.. thats all i can say.. so please dont but dont worry im a patient man as my father is too :) hehe.. im really like to talk just open up any topic to me ill try listen at my best.. i am very annoying n very noisy.. i may be a lil quite sumtimes.. i like to be alone sumtimes.. i think probably thats the time where i can find peace n harmony.. n think bout my problem n try to solve it.. love secrets.. love advanture.. love adreneline rush!! arghh! I tell u sumthing.. u will never figure out how i am.. so beware of me.. hahaha takut kan.. xD

-FAMILY-

i come from a reasonable family.. not rich not poor.. my dad inspire me in lots of ways.. he is very paitient in some ways.. he is very tough, displine and he never hits me... i mean if he hits me 1 time ill probably be on da ground wit probably blood stains.. just look at his big strong hands!!(badan org kg biasa la) haha! he works hard i mean DAMN hard to support his family.. he can wake up at 8am n work NONSTOP until 10-11 a night.. and he usually will find something to do til 3-4am such as repair his chicken hut his (favourite pet), repair his lorry, paint the house, or just watch tv till he falls asleep and repeats the same thing the very next day... he taught me to drive taught me to survive and taught me bout business and life..he inspired me alot..! thanks dad! love ya!

my mum is very supportive.. she is very strict as my grandma was too.. i now understands why she scolds me punish me for my mistakes..(well sumtimes) i always fight and scold her back and make her sad n even make her cry.. yea.. remember 'si tanggang'? who turn into stone? i hope i dont be like that.. but u really donno how bad i treat her.. pity her.. sorry mum.. seriously sorry.. not to show off that im bad or proud of it but dont be like me please.. 'syurga di tapak kakinya'.. all she wanted is for me to be a good man..she always supports me in many ways.. she understands me and my feelings.. well sumtimes x) well im sorry dat i always make u cry mum,i love u :)

my eldest brother n my 2nd bro always 'kautim' together.. dats is why i was usually left alone at home.. doing my own thing.. without anyfriends..this is also probably because of my age gap with them.. the eldest is 10 years older and the 2nd is 6 years older than me.. fuh quite huge gap dont u think so?well bout my 2 brothers..

well for my eldest brother i know he loves me.. (hu doest love his own brother)he buys me alot of expensive things n gadgets.. but he usually makes me angry.. coz yea probably he got stress from work.. so every time he finish work he tries to be nice to me n talk to me.. but he does realize he sumtimes talk harsh to me as if i hav no feelings.. he raise his voice but he says hes not angry wit me.. ahh i really cant understand him..hes not married yet.. always say takut bini cannot eat.. cmon la.. havent try yet until when u want to be single?? do something before its too late.. 'rezeki' comes after marriage.. anyway dont worry we are born the same blood so well get along together..

my second brother always teach me 'new' stuff.. yea dats where i learn new stuff more to negative stuff.. hahaha! if u know wat i mean.. not porn idiot!! but ada la.. mana ble bgtau!!!secret!! we share alot of dirty secrets together.. hehehe.. also he always teach me bout how to treat girls.. all da other notty stuff iv master..er but other than dis(girls) i fail.. hahaha! teach me new games.. hes always up to date.. i always play new games before other ppl coz he install it 1st.. 'neh.. ko xda abg up to date haha!' he's a designer.. very creative but VERY lazy.. also he talk kabaabooom!!! hes mouth no1.. sweet talker.. but action? is a Nono.. haha pity u.. but probably his doing fine now..

hmm.. now my sisters.. i hav 2 lil sister.. one is 18 one is erm 16 corect ah??(2009) hahahahaha see i dont remember.. forgetfull laa haiyaa!!neway..

my lil sis is the hot type, u know like if i carry dat im gonna break my nails type, hehe.. she is already married.. her husband is a cook.. i like his style.. he comes from less fortunate family not less fortunate but not rich family la.. but still can survive to give wat my lil sister wants..awww lucky my sister met him alhamdulillah.. she was quite a problem child but hu cares she doing good now.. shes a hair dresser now..free haircut la lepas nie hehe xD

my lil most 'manja' sister hehe.. very the manja manja 1.. hehehhe.. well she's a swimmer.. i used to swim faster than her.. but now.. she swim faster than the motor boat hahaha!.. shes cute also many bf.. i think so.. erm but sumtimes her manja too much makes me get pissed off also.. haha.. she talks bout her bf sumtimes.. and i share wat i have too.. well she understands me more than my other brother or sister i guess.. blanja me laa hehehe..

my cuzen from sabah Boy @ Soleh... hehe.. he has 90% of me in him.. hes my closest cuzen and like a lil brother to me..knew hims since i was still small.. he is 2 years younger than me and dats probably why i end up acting like a small kid.. haha.. we fart, shyt, eat, drink, vomit, smile, laugh, fight together since i was small, he knows all my dirty secrets.. all my lil secrets all my stupid stuff i ever did in life.. well sumthing like bbf hahaha!! euww.. dats soo disgusting... haha!wt ever..

im quite close to my cuzen in semenanjung Malaysia cuzen Syed Khaled, he is also 2 years younger.. as i say all my close cuzzens are younger than me.. love him as a bro((not in a gay ahh!!) coz i can wear his cloths n accecories as he is almost the same size as me haha! he has almost the same interests as me not really but we get along together la.. he has alot of sence of humor in him.. he has lots of friends n he also get me to know sum of them.. he also kind of understands me in sum ways.. and always tries to make me happy.. hehe.. thanks bro.. mcD tau! hehe..

dat other cuzzie wuzzie and family members dat i didnt mention..ur still in my heart.. i love u all dont worry.. i rock steady!~


-FRIENDS-

About friends.. well basicly.. i love all my friends.. guys n gurls.. but not in a gay way ok.. euww!! i mean i care bout my friends.. well they are the only ones hu understands me more.. coz they are the ones i hang around often..(even my mum cant understand me) at 1st i used to trust all my friends... trust me.. im easily being trick.. lol.. but not now.. since i met my farked up so called friends.. they taught me how to live the outside life.. be strong live alone live for urself.. i told them my secrets and they let it out.. well thank you so called friends!! u FAK UP my life!arghh!!! now its quite hard for me to trust anybody.. so im sorry if i dont trust you guys.. it takes time for me to trust.. fuh..if u hapen to hang around with me n i probably be quite.. probably i have no topic to talk about.. well i usually would want to talk big and tell my storied to the world.. (i used to) what i have dont in life and dis n dat.. i dont know since dat incident with my so called friends it quite hard for me to open up my story life to ppl.. im really sorry blame them for it.. haha.. ohw btw.. if u really hav a secret.. insyallah i will never open ur secrets.. i keep alot of secrets.. tgk la 'my perut buncit'.. byk rahsia beb.. hahahaha!! xD


-MY HEART-

i may be a lil stingy with girls bout money... well im quite fobia with gold diggers.. 'da kena beb tau la..' if any of you girls that i ever flirt and i really say dat i love u in a serious way?.. well i really meant it for sure! u'll always be in my heart.. even when ur wit another guy.. i still love you with all my heart..

my cuzen say dat im da romantic type?? yameh?? hahaha i dunno wat do u think? i may be surounded by diffrent girls but im the 1 man 1 woman type.. the others are just normal friends.. well i like flirting.. well its fun to see the girls responds.. their cute smile, their eyes shine, thier pink lips.. aww so adoralbe.. girls are soo cute hahahahaha j/k xD.. but seriously if i say i love u mean with all my heart..ill do anything for you.. but not everyting.. i hope u do da same.. so please dont doubt me.. im diffrent.. i can bet you this..i i think im quite slow in the love thingy as i hav not many love stories to share with.. i dont like breaking ppls heart sumore i donno how to treat a girl right.. please tell me wats in ur heart, wat can i do to make u happy.. wat can i do to make u love me.. teach me the ways to ur heart ill do and get tru all that just to get to be with you..


-THE WORLD-

this is wat i think bout the world based on my experience..the world is coming to its end.. look, see, hear, listen, and use your brain dat god gift to u that makes you diffrent from the animals....

hav u ever had sexs before?
hav you ever take any type of drug before?
hav your ever tried drinking alcohol before?
hav you raised ur voice to ur parents before?
hav you ever lied to anyone before?
hav you ever rape someone before or thought of it?
hav u ever killed any1 before?think carefully use ur brain not ur heart... think!!!
hav u ever do all this before?
DONT LIE TO UR SELF!!! HAVE YOU?!

ok.. now think when you were born did you have any relliegon? do you hav one?
dont care if your muslim, or cristian, jew buddist or wat ever..
did your relliegon guide you to do bad things? did it?did ur relliegon ask you to drink alcohol, take drugs and hav sex wit any1 before marriage?
who brought you to dis world? must be ur mum n dad had sex right AFTER they got married right? didnt they?they gave you food n shelter n now ur raising voice to them huh?
your probably hate dis notes that i wrote and dont wanna read this futher right?
tell me who feed you when u were a small baby?tell me who the hell buy all your food, buy ur pampers, buy urcloths when u were a baby?tell me did your mum or dad complain when they giv you food? when they buy u things taht u need?
tell me how many of your friends that hav lost thier virginity?
tell me how many of ur friends go club and go drinking alcohol n getting drunk?
tell me how many of ur friends are drug addict?
tell me how many times have you done all this?
tell me how many times have you gone to the house of god and pray?
TELL ME WHEN WAS THE LAST TYM YOU PRAY TO YOUR GOD?!?
TELL ALL THAT TO URSELF NOT ME!!!!
you probably already set in mind that after marriage then u'll stop all dis stupid noncence right???but if i ask you can u stop all this right after u read my notes bout the world would you be strong enuf to stop all this?WOULD YOU!?
WOULD ALL THE GUYS BE MEN AND ALL GIRLS BE WOMEN AND NOT GAYS N LESBIANS!???WOULD ALL THE RAPING OF INNOCENT PEOPLE STOP???WOULD YOU START TO PRAY TO GOD??WHEN IF U DO??AFTER YOU GET MARIED? HOW CAN U BE SURE?
tell me why did bush kill so many innocent people in iraq, iran n palastine?
tell me why out of a sudden the number of girls are more n guys in the the world?
tell me why did tsunami sudenly hit when dis disaster nvr happen before?
tell me why ppl now days wanna be get rich and famous where they still can life a happy life with a average income?
tell me when will the war stops???
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA GO IF TOMOROW IS YOUR LAST DAY TO LIVE?
DONT YOU THINK THE WORLD IS COMING TO ITS END?
i have too many to say just think of it..all i wanna say is im not perfect i do make mistake iv done some of the above and im glad that i stoped it.. insyallah i wont start it all over again.. i hope by letting you read some piece of my mind would make you realise something in life.. try change your life.. pray to god.. no body say you did worng such as drink alcohol means u cant pray?is it stated anywhere?? hu are you to judge? are you god? ur not god??

WHAT IS DONE IS DONE, MOVE FOWARD AND DONT MOVE BACK, MAKE THE PAST UR LESSON, MAKE THE FUTURE UR INSPIRATION. DONT BLAME ANYONE, LOVE URSELF BEFORE LOVING OTHERS, FORGIVE URSELF FORGIVE OTHERS, WE ARE ONLY HUMAN, WE CAN BE BETTER.
Nadra Dayana Daulat inspired me Thank You I'll never forget you..

insyallah if you remember god..god will remember you..

SORRY FOR MY BROKEN ENGLISH SORRY IF IM WRONG IN ANY WAYS SORRY FOR EVERY BAD THINGS THAT I'V SAID.. ALL THE GOOD CAME FROM ALLAH ALMIGHTY ALL THE BAD CAME FROM ME.. MY NAME IS HARUN MUFADZAL BIN GOLDIE MOHD ZAHIRRUDIN.. IM NOT ASHAMED AND IM PROUD WITH MYSELF!